two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
