i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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