you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You've changed since you got that strap on
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
