Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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