It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
