She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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