Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
