I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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