Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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