i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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