I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
