just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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