Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Panties = found
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