an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
