oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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