Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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