ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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