when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
