smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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