forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
