Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
