Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
