Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
