And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
