I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
