I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
