It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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