yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
