I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My penis needs a shock collar
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
