Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
