Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
