He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
