Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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