I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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