You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
