It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
