He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
