It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
