I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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