Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
