So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
