She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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