What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
