I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
