I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
