i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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