dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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