JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
