Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
