You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I look better un-naked...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
