Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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