he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
