I think I died a long time ago.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
