All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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